Taipei Study Trip

J and I had the opportunity to go on a study trip in Taipei.  It is a self-development course that strengthens ties and redefines our attitude in life, and lasted for 4 days.  Since this was our first Taipei trip, we decided to take the opportunity to do some sightseeing as well.

Yangminshan National Park

Vegetable farm

Bamboo forest

We visited our dear Malaysian friends who are working there and stayed with them.

When it was time to attend our study course, we made some new friends.

Hotel coaster, drawn by my Taiwanese friend Jing

All in all, it was a tiring trip because we really, seriously studied.  Our attitude in life is learning whether it is in or out of classroom setting.  Because of this our relationships flourish, our lives are fulfilled, and we would not have missed out on anything.  Truly blessed.

Stories from Zen Master Dae Bong

Here's the closing story from Zen Master that I would like to pen down for my inspiration.
Once, a Zen master has 2 disciples, one who would sit through his meditation with his back up straight, never moving and never falling asleep.  Another disciple would always be falling asleep and therefore his body rolls about during meditation.  Both of them do not like each other.  One day the Zen Master called each of them to his room, separately.

Venerable Zen Master Dae Bong (left) with a venerable nun as his translator.

To the sleepy disciple, he said, "you are always falling asleep, you should be more like your Dhamma brother, always sitting up straight and watching clearly."
To which, the disciple humbly bowed and agreed, and went back to the meditation hall to practice.
Then came the "straight" disciple.
The Zen Master said: "You, always sitting upright and checking your thoughts, you think you are doing very well?  You should be more like your Dhamma brother out there, he is always in samadhi (deep concentration) because he lets go."  To which, the disciple also humbly bowed and agreed.
The moral of the story is, it doesn't matter what kind of kamma you have, good kamma or bad kamma.  What is more important is that you use the kamma to the best of the practice.  So you may be good or you may be bad, but a wise teacher can always use the conditions to help you.  So we continue to practice in whatever conditions we have and if we have wisdom, we can turn the conditions to help us.

Anything Can Be

I am at the crossroads of my life now.
And I found this saying, of all places, in an Ikea brochure, and I feel it is there to remind me.

Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts,
the impossibles, 
the won'ts.

Listen to the never haves,
then listen close to me..
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.

- Shel Silverstein

Marshall Goldsmith's Principles of Leadership

I was privileged to attend a leadership workshop conducted by Marshall Goldsmith in Kuala Lumpur.  He is a renowned behavioral coach and leadership thought leader, and author of the book, "What Got You Here, Won't Get You There."
Here I list down some of my key learnings from this session.

Annoying habits of leaders that we all make at some point or another, that can hold us back:
1. Winning too much (wanting to compete on everything)
2. Adding too much value (when your staff comes to us for a proposal, we always have to make changes to prove that we are superior)
3. Telling the whole world how wonderful we really are
4. Saying "I already knew that" - it dampens spirits
5. Passing judgment before the idea has a chance to even surface

We should always remember these as leaders in our daily work life and even in our life with our children.

Between Planning & Taking Action

Over the radio today, I heard a good story which I would like to share here.  It's regarding one of the radio station DJs who is on duty every afternoon. Because of his working hours, he used to just sleep in the morning until 10 or 11am.  Then one day he shared his plan with his friends, that he would wake up early at 7am every morning to take his parents to the park, so that they can get some morning exercise.

And he really did it.  The 1st day, after the morning exercise, when he went to work, he told his colleagues that he felt very tired.  The 2nd day, his mom woke him up saying: "Wake up! I thought you wanted to go for morning exercise?"  And then this new daily routine continued for 2 weeks. The parents became more motivated to go because they met other old people at the park and made new friends.  At the end of 2 weeks, he had bought 3 pairs of sports sneakers, 1 each for mom and dad, and 1 for himself, to continue this morning exercise routine.  After the exercise, they would have a hearty breakfast together.  Hence, the start of a healthier lifestyle and a great way to spend time as a family.

The story was told as an example of having an intention to do something, or planning, and actually putting the plans into action.  It takes a great deal of effort to overcome the inertia of doing things the old way.
But if we have a plan and put it into action, we will see the results, even if it is just something as simple as taking mom and dad for morning exercise.

My One Big Goal for 2012

Steve Aichitson, a very inspiring personal development blogger and life coach, asked this question for Christmas.  What is the one big goal that I hope to achieve for 2012?
Well, it would have to be a health & fitness goal.  I wish to exercise at least an hour every week, either swimming or yoga.  This year I have not been going regularly at all, mostly due to being busy with work, at other times, well, just being plain lazy.....
I hope to lead a more active lifestyle together with J next year, that's my one big goal for 2012!

Photo from http://www.whatsonxiamen.com/ent1945.html

Forgiving Yourself

Sometimes we are so drowned in guilt that we cannot let go, forgive ourselves and move on.  Here is a story that I heard from Ajahn Brahm which I found very touching.
As a young, poor student, he found a part-time job selling children's encyclopedia from door-to-door.  He described that job as the worst job in the world, because it entails "cheating" on the customers.  The training he got was about psychologically making the parents feel guilty that they didn't care about their children if they didn't buy his encyclopedias.  Then one day, he actually sold one to a young couple who had a baby of about 1 year old.  He felt so guilty about it, the poor young couple who probably didn't have enough money to get by, and they spent their money on a worthless encyclopedia.  He quit the job the next day, and felt guilty about it, until he became a monk when he learnt to let go.
Then one day, while giving a talk about forgiveness in Perth, he told this story.  After the talk, a young woman walked up to him and said that she was from England, and as a young child she had this encyclopedia that her parents bought for her from a student who was a door-to-door salesman.  And she wondered if it was Ajahn Brahm who actually sold that book to her parents, but it really might have been him, because the world is a strange place where what goes around, comes around.
She said: "I loved that book. It was my constant companion as I was growing up, and I had so many fun hours reading it!"

Right, but Not Correct

I really have to share this inspiring story which I heard through one of Ajahn Brahm's CDs.  This is a story he always tells when he is invited to conduct wedding blessings.  This particular story was told when he was in Malaysia.  This story explains very well what it means when "you are right, but not correct."

http://www.pawnation.com/2010/10/19/funny-chicken-picture-duck-duck-chicken/

A husband and wife had a wonderful dinner at a restaurant in KL.  After the dinner, it was a cool night, so they decided to take a stroll through a park and enjoy the evening together.   As they were walking, hand in hand, in harmony, suddenly they heard a sound.
Quack, quack!
The wife said:  Did you hear that, dear?  That was the sound of a chicken.
The husband said:  No, dear, that was not a chicken.  It was a duck.
The wife insisted:  It's a chicken, dear. There! I heard it again.
Husband:  It's a duck!  Chicken don't go "quack quack".
And they went on arguing: Chicken! Duck! Chicken! Duck! Chicken....
until the wife started to get tears in her eyes.
Then the husband, looked at his wife with the tears in her eyes, and remembered why he loved her in the first place.  So, quietly he said: I'm sorry, dear, I was mistaken, it was a chicken after all.
The wife smiled through her tears and said:  Thank you, dear.
And they went on, hand in hand, strolling at the park in peace and harmony and had a wonderful evening.  And the chicken went on calling Quack, quack!

In this instance, the husband was wise, because he remembered there are more important things in life than being right.  He understood priorities.  How many times have you got into an argument with your loved one or family because of some really trivial matter, just like in the story?  When the husband insisted on "Duck!", he was right, but not correct.

When We Were Young, Everything Was Possible

Today I asked Wei if it is ok if I stopped working and stayed at home.
Below is the conversation that transpired:

Wei: "Why do you want to stop working, Mom?"
Me: "Because I don't feel good at work, I often get scolded."
Wei: "What are you going to do if you stopped?"
Me: "I will take a break, then maybe I will consider working again"
Wei: "Would you work at your company again?"
Me (puzzled): "Why do you want me to work at this company?"
Wei: "Because it is a good company, Mom."
Me (even more puzzled): "Why?"
Wei: "Because we got free flu injections."
Me: "Ah...I see. But what about the scolding?"
Wei: "It's ok, Mom, I often get scolded in school too. Never mind -la, just continue."

It made my week, the way Wei sees it.

Training to be A Mind Alchemist with Steve Aitchison

February marks Chinese New Year, which is an occasion of gathering with family and friends, and the start of a new mindset-changing course that I have signed up with Steve Aitchison, Mind Alchemy.  He is the owner of the blogsite, Change Your Thoughts, which focuses on positive-living.
The big reason that made me want to become a Mind Alchemist, although I feel I am pretty much a positive-thinker, was that lately work stress had begun to get to me.  I am certainly not living the life that I could, given this little nagging uncertainty from work that is always at the back of my mind, and I have many a time thought that I want to give up.  I want to change my mindset, to understand how there are so many aspects of life, and whether in the end I could overcome this setback, or accept this with contentment.
Steve started Day 1 with the Wheel of Life, which analyzes the 8 aspects of life.  Then on Day 2, he went on to show us that our effort towards gaining an outcome are either driven by positive or negative motivators.  I found out that I have a mixture of both, but perhaps I need to shift to more positive motivators as it would be easier for me to get to the outcomes that I want.
Day 3 sees us ticking off vigorously on the values that we have or want to strengthen, or would like to have.
Just these 3 days of work has made me rethink my goals in life and I am so glad I am working towards living the life that I really want.
I am a little behind time in my homework, due to the Chinese New Year and all, but I am trying to catch up and do my homework diligently.  I want to make it work, and having done it all, I want to give Steve some feedback so that he could refine the course for future Mind Alchemists.

Pudacuo National Park, Shangri-La, China

Sometimes I think I am such a whiner.  My life is almost perfect.  It is just that we always focus on the negative and it grows bigger than who we really are.  And that is why I am so thankful that I have ever stumbled upon Steve's blog to grow everyday to be a better person.

Goals for 2011

I know that January is almost ending, and I have yet to put into action some of the plans that I said I would make this year. However I am thankful to come across this newsletter, which I would post the contents here to remind ourselves what sort of goals we should pursue.

Below excerpt from Daniel Scocco's newsletter.

2011 just started, and as usual people are setting new goals and 
making resolutions. But are you setting the right goals? Below
I'll talk about 3 goals I consider particularly important.

GOAL 1: Learn new things

If you want to stay competitive, regardless of your field and
profession, you should always be learning new things. And I am not
talking about opening a magazine and learning about what is going
on in Egypt or how many calories a hamburger has. I am talking
about learning new technical things related to your field.

If you work full time on the Internet, for example, you could set
the goal to learn one or more of the following things in 2011:

-HTML, CSS, JavaScript, SEO, PHP, MySQL, Apache 

 GOAL 2: Move closer to your ideal lifestyle

One of the things that certainly adds to our happiness is living 
a lifestyle that we like. This includes things like living in a city
you like, sleeping/working during the times you like, having the 
flexibility to make the activities you like and having the time to
spend time with the people you like.

In fact many people consider this more important than money. So 
instead of aiming to make as much money as possible in 2011, aim
to get closer to your ideal lifestyle. 

 GOAL 3: Work on projects you love and are proud of

We all need to work on stuff we don't particularly love to make 
the ends meet. That is fine. Over time, however, you should be
gradually doing fewer of those "pay the bills" projects and more
projects in areas you really love, doing things you'll be proud of.

Getting this started is really easy. You could simply dedicate one
hour of your nights to working on such a project, and as it grows
you start putting more work on it. 

If you pursue these 3 goals I am sure you'll end 2011 in great shape! 

 Best wishes for this new year,
Daniel Scocco
http://www.onlineprofits.com

______________________________________________________

My Goal #1: Learn more about property investments and doing it right.

Yuan's work, created Mar 2010, 6+ years old.

My Goal #2:

I use one of Yuan's pictures drawn with "Paint" to remind myself to live a lifestyle that includes spending more time with my babies, playing with them, encouraging them and teaching discipline.

Exercise twice a week with J to keep healthy.

My Goal #3:

Work at home interiors - whether it is my own home or my rental properties. Contribute my time to my Sunday Class projects at the temple. Work at updating my blog regularly, and support & promote children's projects.

Inspiration by Leonard Chua

Here I make a short post about my gratitude of having the chance to meet and listen to Leonard Chua.

When I heard the title "Motivational Talk" at my company's session, I groaned inwardly.  I was afraid to be wasting my time if the speakers are not good.  Besides that, when Leonard was making his appearance, people were already giving him a standing ovation, but I did not see why he deserved it.  Then I realized that they were all clapping while standing not because they really know him, but because he entered the room in a wheelchair. You see, Leonard is paralyzed from chest down, and he is only 30.

Leonard is not a motivational speaker to me.  I think he is more of an inspirational speaker.

You can read all about him in this article in The Star, A Model Life. He shared about how to have confidence, courage and beat all the odds even though life is so hard.  He taught us not to take life for granted, to do all the things that we set our heart to do, to dream, and to make things happen.  All the small things that sometimes make us so frustrated, after listening to him, becomes so petty and can be forgotten.  What is amazing to me is that instead of being handicapped and a burden to society, he sets his heart at contributing to society.

At the end of the talk, I shook his hand and said to him: "Thank you, and keep up the good work!"

Key to Global Competitiveness

UM drops from top 200 list of world ranking

Why is it that when UM drops out of its ranking in the top 200 Universities in the world, all that our minister of higher education can say is "we are not going to be obsessive about the benchmark. We cannot compare apples with oranges because each university have different environment and conditions."?

It is like saying to my son, if he ends up at the bottom of the class, "It's ok, son, I am not obsessive about the ranking as I cannot compare you with your friends".

The QS World University Rankings measure university research quality, graduate employability, teaching commitment and international commitment. So if these are not globally accepted criteria to rank universities, I am not sure what Malaysian universities quality criteria is based on.

Instead of working to find out what is wrong and how to improve the ranking by providing active solutions, we say it's okay, it is normal to see fluctuations.

If we hope to be competitive in an increasingly global economy, then parents like us must not think like our minister. If we keep living bagai katak di bawah tempurung, very soon the emerging economies around us whom we now consider behind us in development, will be the rising giants in future.

The key to global competitiveness is education for our future generation. Fellow parents, prepare if you can, to send your children to more competitive institutions, with better "environment" and "conditions".

Attitude of Gratitude

Sometimes I get too much pressure from work especially when I do so much, but the results are not satisfying. It is very funny, my boss knows I am trying my best and that I do everything possible, but still when it comes to the numbers game, numbers are the factor that makes the world go round.


These few weeks I have been toying with the idea of quitting my job by next year. I begin to imagine the things I can do if I am not working next year.


Actually not everything is bad, but somehow when things are not in the best shape, one will begin to focus on the negative things.


So I am thankful that yesterday I come across this blog entry about keeping a gratitude journal. In fact, this blog is my gratitude journal, when I started it I just want to record the positive, happy things, my blessings. It is a record of my kesyukuran (gratitude) for all the good things I have and good people that I meet.


I have not been as frequent as before in updating this blog as I have been bogged down with work. But I am glad now to be reminded, I must make an effort to focus and record all the things that I am thankful for. When I focus on the positive, I feel so much better, all the small things become insignificant, and I can look at the bigger picture.

Photo above is an art project, drawn by Wei when he was 5 years old, 2006.

Of Shark's Fin & Bear Paws

I am proud to say my company has banned shark's fin soup from any company dinner event. It started with my Australian big boss who banned it on the spot when he accidentally tasted it at a function. You know Australians, they are big on environment issues.
Today I heard a radio program which focused on protecting the environment. The DJ said he discovered something which he would like to share with his listeners. Although many environmentalists advocate carpooling and reduction of car usage by using public transport etc, sometimes these changes are nearly impossible for us because it really takes too much effort. This is especially dependent on the public transport connections and the nature of our jobs - for example, if you have a sales job, then it would be very difficult to not take the car. However, choosing not to eat certain things does not take effort. The DJ shared a story about a University professor who visited the indigenous people in Thailand and was taken to see a bear cub that was captured. He thought it was very cute, and having little communication skills with the people, he thought that the bear cub will be nursed back to health and then released. A week later, when the professor returned to see the bear cub, it was only a carcass with no paws and no head. The head was a prize in someone's house. The rest went into the cooking pot. The professor was horrified. In this world, we humans still have so many things to eat. It's not as if there is a worldwide famine going on. Why go for endangered and exotic species and hunt them to death?
I found the story really touching and meaningful. Choosing not to eat exotic meats can help protect the environment, and it is something we can do with very little effort. I urge all of you who are reading this to take a stand, and make our world a better place.